The holidays were here again! And there we were at the motor park, me, my brother and my dad waiting to be dispatched to the village for the holidays. Oh how I hated those trips to the village! It had become a grueling ritual to be dispatched to the village at the end of every academic term.
My hatred for those trips was for varied reasons. To begin with, the roads leading to my village was deplorable to say the least. It made the journey a one hell of a bumpy ride, and unnecessarily long too. Furthermore, staying in the village during those periods almost bored me to death, despite how young I was. I always wondered why dad had to do this to us every holiday. Why not just let me spend the holidays in Abakaliki where we lived then, so i could play soccer with my friends. Folks in our neighborhood only travelled to their villages for holidays during Christmas periods but nay, our case was obviously different. Different because of unfortunate circumstances we found ourselves, though was never created by us. Circumstances that perhaps made the task of taking care of two young, impressionable and hyperactive boys a terribly herculean task for dad he had to always ship us to our grandma’s every holiday, having separated from mum.
My grandparents were still alive, and lived in the village. Grandma was very illiterate, while Grandpa was well-educated, well-travelled, and exposed. He married six women and grandma was his second wife. He was a successful politician, having served as a legislator and a former federal minister in the first republic. An exceptionally brilliant man who understood what public service was. He had the privilege of being a member of Nigeria’s pioneer Federal Executive Council. The education ministry was his portfolio and he utilized it well to serve his country. I once came across a visiting elderly professor who taught us engineering drawing during my university days. When he saw my name and enquired who I was, he said to me with near teary eyes, “your grandfather gave me the opportunity to become who I am today. I was a beneficiary of his scholarship as a Minister. It is interesting to note that this professor was from the south-western part of Nigeria. My grandpa was from the south-east. This was before tribalism and nepotism became a part of our politics. This was when merit, excellence, competence and character determined what one got or benefitted from this country. This was when public officials saw themselves as truly representing Nigerians and not just a community. A time when leadership was propelled by vision and not greed. Shehu Shagari, the first executive President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria once said of grandpa “ Ajanwachuku was a man who went into politics clean and came out cleaner”. They were colleagues in parliament. Little wonder Shagari as President, wasted no time in conferring him with the national honor of Commander of Federal Republic, CFR.
I had the privilege of interacting with this same great man, who happened to be my grandpa as a young lad. Whenever we arrived the village for the holidays, I would rush off to his study. He was old and retired at this time. However, among the several lessons he taught me, two had stuck with me over the years.
The first one is an admonition he always gave me after asking some default questions;
“Nda!” He would ask.
“Odunma Sir”, I would respond
Grandma always reminded me to always add ‘Sir’ when responding to grandpa’s enquiries.
“Unu emechiwo” (Have you vacated from school?)
“Yes Sir”, I would respond again.
Then he would ask the ‘killer’ question.
“Igbara onye one” (What was your position in class, in your last exams?)
I always came third or fourth during my primary school days. Never succeeded in my quest to be first in class, no matter how hard I tried then. Uzoma, Eucharia and John wouldn’t let me. We were rivals and somewhat friends at the same time.
“Never associate with people who are less intelligent than you are”. Grandpa would bellow in his characteristic husky voice. That was the first lesson.
The Great Madiba
Today I celebrate a colossus. Today I celebrate a phenomenon. Today I celebrate greatness! Today I celebrate the great Madiba!! The greatest statesman that ever lived. The President of presidents.
I first heard about Nelson Mandela on Sunday February 11th, 1990, the day he was released from prison. I was only ten. The whole nation was in frenzy. A public holiday was declared and even the ancient town of Abakaliki where I lived then with my father was not exempted. Everyone was talking about him. I remember asking my dad who Nelson Mandela was, and he simply told me that Nelson Mandela was the man who fought and defeated apartheid. Apartheid? Whatever that meant, I wondered in my little mind.
However, as I grew older and watched events, or should I say miracles that followed after in South Africa. The first all-inclusive general elections in that country, the enthusiasm with which the people pulled through that decisive period due to the manner in which the Madiba led and conducted himself through that period. His forgiving heart. During that period, he famously told his people that there was no future without forgiveness. He was elected the first black president of democratic South Africa in 1994. He was pivotal to South Africa getting the hosting rights for the Rugby world cup in 1995, and during preparations for the Rugby world cup, he wore springboks to black South African neighborhoods, urging them to come out and support the Rugby national team. Black South Africans hated to wear springboks because of what it signified. Springboks were worn mostly by the white South Africans who mostly played the game of Rugby.
The truth and reconciliation commission he set up which was headed by the Nobel laureate, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, to heal wounded scars further galvanized and united the nation. He wasn’t always a perfect man; he had his frailties and personal issues. He once said, “I am not saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying”.
He was courageous, selfless and full of compassion. In the courtroom in 1964 where he was sentenced to prison, a place he would spent twenty-seven years, while still in the dock, he said “’I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die”. Nelson Mandela lived for those ideals.
Today the world honors this great man, with flags flying at half-mast in the world most powerful nations like the United States of America, the United Kingdom, the republic of China and on and on. We celebrate you the great Madiba. You lived and died for humanity. God bless your compassionate soul!
An Important Decision I Made
Did you know that the wealthiest places in this earth are not the oil wells in Saudi Arabia and the rest of the Middle East? Did you know that the wealthiest places in this world are not the gold mines in South Africa and Ghana? The wealthiest place on earth is not found in the world’s largest economy (the United States of America); neither can it be found in the emerging and fast growing economies like China and Africa.
Unfortunately, the wealthiest place in this world can only be found in one place, the cemetery. When you visit the cemetery, beneath the wonderful epitaphs eulogizing the various deceased, are several bestselling books that were never written, several world-class corporations that were never started, several political and economic dreams that were never realized, several great and life changing speeches that were never given, several money spinning ideas that were never birthed, several world-class leaders that never stepped up to lead and several other ideas, dreams, destinies that never came to fruition.
These wonderful people died with all the wealth inside them. And sadly, on a daily basis, several others are contributing immensely to the wealth of the cemetery.
I once heard a certain man I regard very highly make a statement. He said he made a decision to die empty. He said he would not be among those that will contribute or add to the wealth of the cemetery. A decision I considered very crucial to also make. I will ensure I explore and exploit all the gifting, talents, abilities, dreams and aspirations God has deposited inside me. I’ve made up my mind to die empty. I will not be among those that will add to the wealth of the cemetery. How about you?
Does it bother You?
Did you know that life starts when purpose begins? There are two kinds of people; those who are living life and those who are existing through life. This is the reason some peoples’ lives are more effective than others. And effectiveness here does not refer to how many degrees you have (those you might need to acquire them to enhance your life purpose), or how much money you have in your bank account (though you might need lots of it to fulfill your life assignment). Neither does it refer to how many properties and titles you have acquired.
Life effectiveness here is about your predestination. Is your life headed towards your destiny, God’s perfect plan for you?
Now today, I have a question for you. Does it bother you? Does it bother you the way your life is headed? What is your purpose? Have you discovered it? If you have, what are you doing about it? Are you aggressively focused on fulfilling it? Like Paul, a famous Apostle who said, “I do not box like one who beats the air”. In other words, he was saying that he was a man that was focused on his purpose.
No wonder he was bold enough to declare as his life was winding down, “I have fought a good fight…, and therefore a crown is laid up for me”… In other words, he said; I fought and won!
Does it bother you if this will be your testimony several years from now? It bothers me because I have realized that my fulfillment in life is embedded in my purpose.
How about you? How does fulfilling your purpose or life assignment or life work bother you? Have you discovered it? Please share.
Saying the same thing in ten different ways
Hello People! I would like to first apologize for taking a little longer time in dropping this post. The last few weeks has been quite emotional. The loss of a loved one and all the issues that come with it could sometimes be mentally exasperating. However, I’m back and so glad about it.
The last few days has got me thinking about an important life issue that I’ve just felt like saying it in ten different ways, in very simple terms. My hope is that you read between the lines of these bullet points and grasp the gist of the matter. I will also be glad to read your thoughts, so please feel free to share. Are we ready??? Here we go!
- A good man from the good treasures of his heart brings forth good things. An evil man from the evil treasures of his heart brings forth evil things.
- Your internal representations determine your external realities. You can never run away from yourself.
- It’s the life you see that you will have, not the life someone else is trying so hard to make you see.
- You may successfully force a horse to the river, but you just might not successfully force the horse to drink from the river.
- Whatever your spirit/heart has not grasped may never come your way.
- I imagined and dreaded the evils that eventually came my way (apologies to Job of Uz, a great man of the East).
- The prosperity of your life is directly connected to the prosperity of your soul, for you prosper as your soul prospers.
- The inner eyes are not like the optical eyes because it has no limits. For it sees way beyond today, tomorrow and generations unborn. The wise understand this and take advantage.
- Look northward, southward, eastward and westward, God told a man; for as far as your eyes can see, will you have.
- For as a man thinks/reasons/ponders in his heart, so he is.
Game Changers
In 2004, a relatively unknown Chicago congressman by the name, Barack Hussein Obama received a very unusual nod to deliver the keynote address at the Democratic convention. By giving Obama such a nod, little did the Democratic Party’s establishment know that a new phase in America’s political history was about to be ushered in. Obama spoke with such oratorical dexterity, panache and confidence. The atmosphere was charged, the ambience was electric and the audience successfully mesmerised. A famous line and a pivotal point during that speech was when Barack famously stated thus, “there is no blue America and there is no red America, there is, the united states of America”. That famous speech earned him a rock star status. His life never remained the same. By that speech, the phenomenon, Barack Obama was birthed in the consciousness of American politics. Two years on, he would go on to become a federal senator and the ultimately do the unthinkable, become the president of the United States of America.
There are game changers and there are game-changing situations. Sometimes these two factors meet, sometimes they don’t. Game changing situations can be circumstantial or opportunistic. They can also be deliberately created or orchestrated. A true story has it that, a day before Obama’s famous speech at the Democratic party’s convention, he took a walk down the street with a friend, during which the sort of attention he was receiving from folks as a result of a book he had authored (Audacity of Hope), a huge commercial success sort of puzzled his friend, who suddenly turned to him and said, “you’re almost turning into a rock star”. Barack looked at him and responded, “you think this is something, wait until tomorrow”. While his friend was wondering what he meant, he added, “my speech is pretty good”.
This reminds me of a story of an impatient young prince who couldn’t wait to be king. So he plotted to overthrow his father. It was a medium term plan. He started by being an unsolicited judge and arbiter. Whenever people came to the palace to settle their disputes, he would assume the role of an arbiter without the king’s knowledge and settle their disputes. He even went as far as encouraging the people to speak well and glowingly of him. Gradually, his popularity began to spread; his game plan was working nicely. Then he moved over to the next phase, he began luring the king’s most trusted men to his side, this he succeeded in doing to a considerable extent, such that he was soon bold enough to strike. His father, the king had to flee his throne. Among the king’s most trusted men that he successfully lured to his side was a man named Ahitophel. He was the king’s wisest counsellor and strategist. It was said of Ahitophel that whenever he gave a counsel on any issue, it was as though God Himself spoke.
When the king heard that Ahitophel, his most trusted and wisest counsellor was with his son, the adversary, his heart almost failed him. But he opened his mouth and prayed a very famous prayer. It was brief but so on point. The king said, “O Lord! Turn Ahitophel’s counsel into foolishness”. That was the game changer! Ahitophel’s proposed strategy on how to capture the king and establish his throne was rejected by the impatient prince. A rejection that marred his reckless ambition. He died as a result.
Are you a game changer? You don’t have to settle for what life throws at you. You have what it takes to change anything or situation you don’t like.
Abused
“Your body can’t take this anymore, especially in this condition”.
“You almost lost the baby. Take a good look at this”. He said, handing over a sheet of paper to her detailing the results of the laboratory tests conducted on her earlier.
“There’s no form of infection nor is there any sign of harmful bacteria or virus in your system”. He continued.
“Your condition is due to psychosomatic stress. In other words, your psychological condition is beginning to take its toll on your body mechanisms which was why you almost lost the baby”. He elucidated.
She sat there, starring at the doctor like she had no idea in the world what he was talking about.
“I need to have a word with Segun about this because with the way he’s going, you may soon become history”. Dr. Johnson concluded.
Dr. Johnson has always been a close friend of the Adewales’. Segun Adewale was more like a school son to Dr. Johnson while they were in school.
He (Dr. Johnson) was there from the very beginning when Segun married Ronke. He was the chairman at their wedding reception and had remained close to the couple.
He’s also aware of the ‘animal’ Segun had turned into few months into his marriage to Ronke. He couldn’t believe his eyes the first time he saw Ronke so battered by Segun, her husband.
She had come to his office with tales of Segun’s brutality and of course with a black eye and diverse bruises on her body as proofs.
Dr. Johnson had subsequently reprimanded Segun about the issue, making him see reasons, or so he thought, about how a woman was meant to be loved and cherished, not battered.
Segun was a fair complexioned and handsome half caste. He was born of a Nigerian father and a Canadian mother. He had a master’s degree from the University of Toronto and was also a very successful computer programmer in a leading IT corporation.
A cursory look at him could easily give him away as a refined, gentle, innocent and unassuming person. And you know what? He knew how to apologize and make amends whenever he strayed with so much ‘affection’ and ‘remorse’ that you could feel like the Lucifer himself if you refused his apologies.
When the doctor was through examining Ronke, she stepped out of his office only to find her tormentor-husband on bended knees with flowers and gifts begging and asking for her forgiveness, but unfortunately for Segun, she had had enough of him.
She wasn’t going to risk her life and that of her unborn child anymore. This was her fourth pregnancy. She had lost the previous three due to her husband’s indiscretions but this time, she was determined to keep and protect this one, from Segun’s callousness.
Therefore, she got into her car, ignoring his pleadings and drove away for good. She was already packed up before she headed for the doctor’s office.
She would do without him. After all, she was a successful banker herself. She had thought.
A few weeks later…
The bank Ronke worked for had been gracious enough to effect her transfer to the new city she had requested to be transferred to.
After work hours on a certain day. She wasn’t in the mood to go home. Go home to whom? She wondered.
It was high time she sent for her mum to come around and be with her, because being alone in her condition was beginning to take its toll on her and besides, she was almost due to be delivered of her baby. Moreover, her mum had been all worked up about her lone relocation to another city, despite her condition and emotional state. She reasoned.
Being unready to leave her office yet, she decided to relax a little bit, but while she was trying to do that, her mind drifted to the past.
She suddenly remembered Phillip.
Phillip was a guy that spared no affection for her. She had dated him before she met Segun. Phillip treated her with love, respect and adoration. She was his world and had all his attention.
Though she enjoyed being with him, a part of her resented him. Somehow, something inside her couldn’t relate with all the love and affection she got from Phillip. She remembered how strange it felt sometimes, about Phillip’s devotion to her. She had tried to manage it and she seemed to have done a good job of it for a while but…
If only another ‘Phillip’ could cross her path again. She would make the most of it. She sobbed. Tears rolling down her cheeks.
She should never have dumped Phillip for no just cause. She reprimanded herself. She remembered the look of disbelief and hurt on his face the day she told him it was over and felt so guilty about it.
In the midst of all this emotional roller coaster, Ronke remembered her mum and her intended visit and immediately something occurred to her.
Her mum had divorced her dad for almost the same reasons she’s about divorcing her estranged husband.
She recollected how her dad would come home heavily drunk and if her mum dared confront him, she was sure to get a good battering.
Is this some sort of a vicious cycle? She asked herself…
Graduating in Marriage
Most people believe that marriage is an institution; they also assert that it is an institution no one involved in ever graduates from. Really! I always exclaim when folks make such claims in my presence. There’s always something new to discover about your partner, they would argue.
These kinds of assertions often make me ‘wonder, wonder, wonder’ (apologies to Femi Kuti). For crying out loud, as a graduate of Chemical Engineering, does it mean that I knew everything about Chemical Engineering before I was awarded the title ‘Chemical Engineer?’ However, I merited it because I had attained a level of mastery in that field.
I remember some years ago, I went to an eatery with a friend and I couldn’t help but notice a much older couple as they walked in. They sat a few tables from us, far enough that we couldn’t eavesdrop on each other, lol. Nevertheless, the understanding, mastery and wisdom this much older couple displayed as they communicated with other was so evident. It literally oozed out of them to me as I watched.
Do or can couples come to a place where they completely understand each other? I think and believe they can. Can a couple actually arrive at a point where they can deal with each other’s whims and caprices? Is it possible for a couple to come to a place where quarrelling, bickering and unnecessary bitterness are totally eliminated from their union? Yes it is! Are there such couples presently in this world? Such there are! Does it mean such couples have attained perfection? Perfection in itself is relative, especially when it concerns a man and a woman.
However in my candid opinion, when a couple has attained the level of understanding I saw that old couple exhibit in that eatery that fateful day, I believe such a couple has attained perfection or better still, what I would call mastery. Mastery that should legitimately earn them a ‘degree’.
What do you think? Have your say…
LESSONS FROM EDEN 1
I have often wondered at the splendour of Eden. The description of the place in the Holy Scriptures has often times left me wishing I were Adam, lol. The manner in which the lawns were arranged, the different trees in their varying heights, clapping and bowing to the rhythm of the wind as it blew past. And then the river! It flowed all the way from Eden into the garden and when it got into the garden, it parted and became four self-sustaining river heads. *eyes pops out*
Thinking about this taught me a few lessons. I realized it was pointless being stuck in the mud and playing the Ostrich. I began to see possibilities that could make my life beautiful. It occurred to me that just like the garden created self-sustaining options for itself by parting the river supply it received from Eden into four different river heads, I too could do just the same for myself.
Further lessons learnt were that the garden represented me and my world. Eden represented my source or essence. The river represented my vision and the river heads represented my mission, which by extension were my options for accomplishing my vision.
Everyone has a vision because to have a vision is to have a mental picture of the future, which automatically suggests that everyone with a mind has some form of vision. Truth is, we all think about tomorrow, so we all possess a vision for tomorrow. The various visions we may have about our lives could be positive or negative, motivating or demoralizing, strengthening or weakening, exciting or boring. Also the sources of vision are varied. It could be from you, or from some other person, maybe your parents, spouse, spiritual leader or from some other authority figure in your life or it could be from God.
Your world (the garden) is so wide, complex and sometimes complicated. There’s so much in you. So much talents, abilities and treasures. You were sent to water your world with the river from Eden (your source). Your job is to create options that will enable you do it effectively.
To be continued
“An Unkind World?”
He was the apple of his father’s eye. He had a reputation of being the obedient one among his siblings. For this reason, he was loved and courted by his father. His father made all the decisions for him. When it was time for him to seek admission into the University for his Tertiary Education, his father decided the school he should attend and even chose his discipline. He never objected nor challenged his father. He was always cool, calm, collected, obedient and loyal.
He even became a reference point for his other siblings whenever they stepped out of line. However, in his final year in the university, he met and fell in love with a pretty latino and decided to go all the way with her.
His father would not hear of it. How could his son think of doing such a thing? He wondered. In his mind, he already had the daughter of his bosom friend who also doubled as his business partner arranged for him to marry, in other for the business relationship between the two families to be well cemented.
All efforts to make his obedient son change his mind proved abortive. For once in his son’s life, he had found something he could independently believe in. He had become his own man. He had found his purpose.
As a result, he was disowned and disinherited.
*********************
He was the super eagles’ top striker. On a number of occasions, he had bailed out the Nigerian team from imminent defeat. At the professional level, he was among the best. He was among the top scorers at a time in the English premier league where he plied his trade, second only to the magical Thiery Henry. Everyone courted him including the local and foreign media, both electronic and print. Nigerians sang his praise. They wanted him to play every game. He was the top scorer of the national team after all.
However, during an all-important game at the world cup in which Nigeria needed to win to qualify for the next stage, time was already running out. Tensions were rising and there he was, provided with a glorious chance to put Nigeria ahead in the game. All he needed to do was do a simple tap of the ball into an empty, begging net. Everyone was already on their feet, with hands raised up high, ready to scream “it’s a goal”, but unfortunately it was not to be as he simply “Yakubood” the ball wide. The super eagles couldn’t win the game and eventually crashed out of the world cup.
Nigerians refused to forgive him despite his pleas after the game, which was why in spite of the fact that he had continued banging in the goals for his current club side, that game had remained his last for the super eagles so far.
***********************
He was the 42nd president of the United States of America. One of America’s most successful presidents. He was a handsome, charming and intelligent president with profound oratorical skills. He took over the mantle of leadership at a time when America’s economy was almost on a brink. Deficit was high and jobs were being lost. Within his first term in office, he restored the economy and for the first time in many decades, America had no deficit. Everyone sang his praise. He was adored by the high and mighty. A role model he had become, to the young and old. He easily won the re-election for a second term in office.
However, sometime in the course of his second term in office, there were allegations of some blow job activity in the white house between him and some young, pretty intern named Monica Lewinsky. Hell seemed to have been let loose when the allegation filtered out. Before what was going on could be fully comprehended, some guys in the US congress had already rallied each other and gotten him impeached.
He managed to survive the US senate so the impeachment by the US congress could not be ratified but his presidency never remained the same, despite his earlier achievements.
**********************
Need I say more? Okay, here’s my take; we live in a world where one is constantly assessed based on one’s present. Not the past and unfortunately, not the future. This is because people generally have short memories and often times fail to see the future; your future, that is; until it arrives.
Therefore it’s your responsibility to accept and have faith in yourself. If you’re being applauded, be sure to keep doing what you are doing, and find new ways to expand your horizon because if you slip, you can be sure that your ears will hear the “crucify him” chant.
Igwewritesonpurpose 